Is the black dog at the door again?

I don’t really know what to start writing but I’m hoping that I’ll make some kind of sense at the end.

There’s been a lot of death around recently, both in the media and in my personal life and also the talk of depression and mental health which is a positive thing to come out of such heartbreaking reports.

At some point today a video I recorded a few days ago will go live on my channel entitled “suicide” and more recently I discussed my own experiences with suicide on a podcast that I recorded.

So what am I doing writing this blog? Today is the first time in a while that I’ve felt the slightest hint of a tidal wave of sadness and such approaching – I recognise the signs and I try to focus hard and try and maintain my normality quota and although I am lucky to have people who care for me in my life, it’s still very possible to feel absolutely alone.

I’m pretty sure this is just a dip in the rollercoaster of my life and that I’ll soon be back up.

And I’m sure that some of you might me thinking that I seem happy enough and I’m not saying that depression is creeping back into my life but when no-ones around its hard not to think and thinking evolves into reflection.

I’ve always believed that sometimes I fake it until I make it in regards to my emotional spectrum and usually that helps me to guide my moods back to where they should be but when my stress levels are heightened and things outside of my control keep on occurring, the faking it part becomes harder to maintain.

*sigh*

0 Comments

  1. I recognise the feelings you describe. Sometimes I just have to allow myself to feel angst. It passes. They say that intelligent people will always find something to worry about! Love you, always here for a mummy cuddle you know X

  2. A complicated topic and I think you’ve spoken about it admirably. If the dog comes a scratching, try setting a goal or something to look forward to. A holiday, a trip to see friends, etc. Print it out or write it down on paper, then stick that paper somewhere you’ll see it every day (desktop wallpaper maybe). Avoid stacking up the bad things in life and avoid making a mental list of all the rubbish in your life. What’s happened or happening…well let it roll, nothing you can do about that now. Plan for the future. Big Hug x

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