Oink!

Oh my god!

Tonight I DEVOURED a Chinese takeaway and now I feel like a house, and I’m not talking semi-detached, I mean full on MANSION sized!

I’m also feeling a huge amount of food guilt, which I always do but never seem to act on – I know I need to lose weight, I look at myself in the mirror every morning and don’t like what I see, I know I need to lose weight and I need to start losing it now but I don’t seem to have any sense of urgency and I seem to be going towards the wrong size of the scales.

When I was at school I was a big boy and I guess I am now (in more ways than one….sorry I couldn’t resist a knob gag) and when I left school (I was bullied A LOT) I lost a stupid amount of weight in a short amount of time, this was down to restrictive eating and literally walking everywhere, it took over my life and it became an obsession – and now look at me…. I think I’m scared to get myself back in to that mind frame because I’m hyper-aware of letting it take over my life.

I want to lose weight, I really do but I don’t want to become one of those people again, I want to lose it slowly, carefully and enjoyably, I’m sure it’s possible!

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