I have a swollen saliva gland!
Painful? Oh yes!
I have to be careful how I eat, talk and generally move my tongue, it’s really sore!
I think I must have bitten it or something and its become swollen and I think it might be infected! Ewww and owww!
Lots of gargling with salty water (no jokes!) and drinking lots of water should help it heal, I need sleep because it’s stupid o’clock and I have work tomorrow!