The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.

I used to suffer from this technological affliction, texting a guy I really liked, being all cute in the message and ending it with a question so that a response should be expected – and then sitting, looking, waiting and staring at the phone.

“What’s that noise?”
“Is that my phone?”
“Why hasn’t he replied?”

And then….


A mad ninja style dash and grab of the phone, buttons already pressed to open the message before it even reaches your eyes, and then reading the message – not from him but from your mother, asking you to get some milk!

And then, almost giving up the hope of response and crying and deleting his number (I am over-dramatising, I’m not like that – that would be someone I know, lol), you decide to take a shower and as soon as you step under the stream of water, you hear the phone beeping away in the distance, its only in another room because phones aren’t waterproof – jumping out of the shower and close to slipping over and killing yourself you sprint, naked and wet towards your phone….the message reads

$£XY GiR|_$ g4nG 84nG

You scream, not at the fact its a spam type message, but of the fact that you’re not actually into girls in the slightest and the spammers should know you like cock, for a split second you forget the Textpectation, but then its back, it wasn’t him texting!

You climb into bed defeated, fall asleep and as soon as you drift off to the land of dreams, your phone – now on silent, flashes and the message…

“I really like you, let’s see each other again soon! X”



Leave a Reply